i can't sleep

when i drink 5 cups of coffee...

i've been thinking a lot about this past year.  at first when i think about the past the regrets that nag me.  i replay them over and over and beat myself up for not saying or doing this or that.  then i look at these struggles and see how i have grown.  it's funny how we tend to remember the bad stuff better hu? 

i told a friend today that i have grown a lot this year, he asked why and i just said because i had.  i wasn't sure he would see my growth as growth because he still loved the things i have laid down as an expression of my growth. 

but i have grown a lot.

i have a better grasp on what idolatry is.  i spend less time watching TV and playing video games.  last time i went to a movie theater we sat in the parking lot and talked instead of watching a movie.  i am not afraid to admit when someone has hurt me.  i worry less about what people think.  i am more focused with my devos.  the Lrd is talking to me more and i am recognizing His voice better.  i am taking time to witness to nonbelievers.  i can recognize others struggles with out invalidating mine.  i write in my journal regularly...

it has been a rough, transformational, year of war. A fight the whole way. 

I'm officially not living in the Brown house and surprisingly i'm ok with that.  it would have been a HUGE blessing to live there but i think it would have felt like work...  not work i really would have minded, mind you :)   i will miss out on hanging with and living close to the P and T Blakes...  they will have to come hang at my new pad...

I'm officially living in Wispering Hills out by the E Simons.  its exciting, be excited.  one, because the house is sweet: pool, hot tub, big kitchen, big bedrooms, big living rooms, big.  two, i'll be living with keith, we always have good talks about deliverance and bible stuff.  three, i'll be closer to the E Simons and the Jacks and sometimes Kate.  forthly, (but really firstly) i know it is where the Lrd wants me!! how cool is that!!

I am really excited about this next year.  What is Gd going to do?  IDK but it's going to be awesome.  i know, i know, everything Gd does is awesome but i've got to tell you that there is this feeling about next year... not just of excitement but of personal blessing.  ya, it's going to be good.

so, i'm starting to feel the tiredness come on.  maybe the Lrd will let me sleep now...

(this sentence is to remind myself to write about the Arther Burk CDs and my new prayer focus next blog)

praise the Lrd for His sovereignty, for His power over life and death and for His divine plan!  Tear down the thrones we have built for ourselves and show us our heritage in You!!

peace.