Lessons Learned by Fire

Beauty forced
Or neglected
May twist and grow
Poisonous stings
Attacking those
Who would love.
Thus aching for love
He is committed
To fire consuming
Knots poison and pain
Leaving perceptions
Of worthless coal.
But steam makes
Rainbows as fuel
Burns and boils.
Thus destruction
Reminds us
Not of death but
True beauty that
Will never be
Destroyed.
-J-


I wrote this at work.  I work at a residential care facility i would rather not mention but they do a good job helping children cope with the situations they have been born into.
I was thinking about what some of these kids have gone through to end up here.  I read their charts sometimes and the stories are heart wrenching.  Little kids who are so full of defense mechanisms they have no choice but to be overtly sexual, aggressive, emotionally closed or just run away.  They call it fight or flight instinct.  My work added another two.  Fight or flight or trick or freeze.
Once, you work here awhile you cant help but notice these tendencies in yourself and others.  Though, most most of my friends aren't as extreme as the kids here.
These kids are here because the state wants to help them.  Some clients have tried to bite me, punch me, and spit on me.  They do this when i have to put them in a hold because they starting banging their head or hand against a wall.  The hold is designed to keep them safe and help them calm down.  Usually, they dont appreciate being restrained.  but it's for their benefit.  even if they can't see how it helps them i have to put them in a hold...
It reminded me of how Gd refines us by fire.  He sees the things in our lives we can't see and when He sends the fire to remove those things it hurts, we get angry, we fight, flee, trick, or freeze.  But He keeps putting the pressure on and wont let go until we are being safe.  Though, Gd is less concerned with our safety than our righteousness...  an argument could be made for righteousness as the only true safety, but anway...

So, even though we feel we are being destroyed sometimes we can hold on to Gd's promise to not destroy us and enjoy the process of learning to love the fire.

i hope this poem ministers to you in your current struggles big or small.