What does the Lord have to do to get our hearts? Can a shallow struggle reach deep inside our desires and dreams? If He is going to communicate with us on an intimate, core level He has to make it personal. He deals with the things we love most. Our deepest desires. Our deepest dreams. He tenderly comes wooing our affections. We lay down our time, our money, our entertainment and He wins that place right next to our heart. We are so in love and we've never experience this before, we've given Him everything and He is all about us... Then He asks for that one thing we didn't want to give.
The only way to communicate on the heart level, to have a 100% devotion, trust, love and desire for Him is if He offends our desire. Everything that we hold dear is a tool to communicate who He is and how much He desires to be with us.
I imagine this interaction between us and HaShem as if it were to lovers. "Love, I don't want you to go out tonight. I miss being with you. I miss spending time with you." How would you respond? How do I respond? Do we call Him clingy? Do we call Him overly demanding, manipulative or controlling? Is He needy?
He never does anything just to annoy us or irritate us. He never takes something away from us in order to be cruel or vindictive. He doesn't use His power to lord it over us. He's not looking for a chance to prove to us that we are wrong and rub it in our faces.
He wants to give us the best. He wants everything we have. Every drop, every sin, every mikva, every desire, every hope, every dream. He wants everything. He's a jealous God. Everything we bring will be tested by fire and water and Spirit. We will only receive back what remains. The best, the purest He has to offer. He's good at gifts.
But all this sounds too harsh. Well, it is intense but the joy of it all. The joy of this beautiful death. A life laid down just for us... Let Him wash your feet. Enjoy the tickle of your toes being gently scrubbed. Rejoice and wonder at the mystery of the Perfect One washing your feet. Allow it to change your heart.
He has joy for us here in the longing. He has desire and plans for us. Wake up oh sleeper! Our beloved is catching our foxes. He has built for us a wall. He has gathered the fruit. He has prepared a table for us even if we are surrounded by those who hate us. He will honor us before them. In quite places we will rest. In dreams we will praise Him. Songs will come from us not from sorrow but from love. Love for Him will consume our hearts and praise will flow from our pores. Why should we be afraid? If He says it, it will be. If He says it, it will be good.
Don't you want to give Him everything? Don't you want to do your best for Him? Don't you see Him dancing with you? What have we ever gained by waiting and holding back? He doesn't mind our awkward moves... He wan't do dance with us! Forward in Him always. Always, seek Him. He wants you and He's right there!
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